A journal of TMI

Small town I loathe you

small town I loathe you- your derelicts approach me

through every open transom and window I see

the same televised set-piece

portrayed on a tube screen

Can’t someone walk about

without watching this scene?

a man with an eye-patch and a suit too tight

insults his old lover

a mild social slight

made all the more galling

by the girl on his arm

the tension is rising

a slow-paced alarm- but no one is watching

they’re just staring

possibly even thinking

their bodies in repose

relaxed,

a small dream.

To have the time

to do nothing

and yet

be part of

this scene

small town your leaders

sit at tables

big and small

chanting fables

eating strange foods

and drinking as much

as they are able

I’ve sat with them before

they offered me plenty

told me what to eat

and when I didn’t want

any

smilingly threatened me

‘just joking-

now, again- drink!’

I walked away cursing

hours later

swaying on my feet

slow-motion accidents

a fascinating sight

when time’s at a standstill

Saturday night

I saw it at random

Time just hit

And stopped

that old boy

split

I watched

peering openly

Fate spit

I’ve sat down with you

we’ve talked before

I came to your bookstore

a habit I couldn’t break

didn’t want to

wanted more

was life such a crashing

waste?

Too long to wait

And wait for what

what water waits?

It’s an open gate

stuck open

shall we fix

what we chase?

step back

again

from a given fate?

The long road

the distant shore

And what of our children?

Crowded into

small rooms

with a board

a tutor’s home

on each lane

small town

study plan

I complain

you haven’t heard me

or left me alone

enough

that’s what I’m waiting for.

that’s why the pain

__________________________

Ho Chi Minh City, December 2013

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