A journal of TMI

I saw it coming

About two days ago

On Sunday or Monday, I forget which

Or between them, at midnight

I lay in bed

I thought: Here we go again

Poised on the brink of utter violence

We’re all waiting for it

The whole country knows

Where it will happen

It will explode at a rally

And crush someone’s body

Someone’s son or daughter

Lost in mad bloodlust

Denigrated and hastily dismissed

Too soon

By gears turned malignly

Not without thought

But without precision or care

A battle in a coliseum

I foresaw this spectacle

I used no talent in this

Only sleep – lost hours of sleep

Today though

I felt a lull, really felt it

I looked around

Spring is pushing up

The flowers

Hungry though they are for the mulch

Of all living things

Chilly winds and sunshine mingle

Pleasant warmth with brisk tones

One could jaunt about

But me? Well…

I need a nap after all the tossing and turning

Have we paused in our course?

Dark circles round my eyes

Has the specter of death shaken us?

I drank too much tea yesterday

Have wise leaders stepped in?

I should drink more water

Who will form the next comment; the au courant critique?

Tonight wine will sooth me

It’s hardly the collapse of certainty

That dark forces have sprung up to take their opportunity

I’ve been waiting for this since I noticed the life political

What people call “my whole life”

But I had a life before that

A secret mystery of a life

I was happy and swam and ran

Now it’s my time to play the adult game

Of serious business and arrangements that hold

I can accept that

But what game we are playing?

It’s certainly familiar

Perhaps because

It stinks of the cruelty of children

The ones who weren’t happy

To be free and have the freedom of delight

And play

We all began drawing muddy pictures

But this is a food fight

A shit smear

A time-out in the Chinese Algebra test

A nightmare

And I saw it coming

From two days ago

Or since day one

Such a small comfort

Such a tidy pleasant lull

 

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